Why I Became a Therapist - Brittany

by BRITTANY DRNEK

I am a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser, but it took me years of moving through my “perfectionist cycle” to figure it out. I excelled at my Newport Beach high school, transitioned to Georgetown University with minimal emotional turbulence, and then went onto the University of Pennsylvania to work toward my master’s in social work. I was the good child, the hard worker, capable of achieving whatever I set out to achieve. It seemed like it was working for me - the world rewarded it.

It was halfway through my first year at graduate school when I hit a wall. Despite what my perfectionism told me, it was simply not possible to become a good clinical social worker without making a few mistakes along the way. I worked even harder but found myself anxious and depressed. I spiraled and struggled until the day that my own therapist finally said to me, “I don’t know why you need someone else to say this, but It’s okay to quit and come back when you’re ready.”  

I leapt at this chance with great relief. For the next year, I worked at a bookstore, lived with supportive family members, and went to therapy. I began to identify the cycle I was in… the parts that I had previously denied and ignored. The all-nighters starting in high school to ensure that my essays were “perfect,” the dropping of college courses the minute that it looked like I was not going to get the A, and the intolerable anxiety and related depression that came with feeling increasingly out of control because I needed to keep excelling without making any mistakes and not letting anyone down – all at the expense of my own sanity and well-being.

I got married and started a family. And then, for a second time, I was completely thrown off my axis. Four months after my oldest daughter was born, the doctor gave this first-time mother a good bill of health for her perfect baby. But as we were preparing to leave the office, he unexpectedly came back and said, “I’m a little worried about her head circumference and think you should see a specialist.” I made the appointment for a neurologist, but laughed as I did it…surely there could not be something wrong with my child.

Two children and one imperfect but loving marriage in, I understand what it is to be a recovering perfectionist living in a bit of chaos. I love my husband and children but am constantly adapting to unpredictability and disappointment on one hand, and soaring successes on the other. Every time I step into the therapy space, I bring my own experience with me. I strive to create space for those who are struggling to understand their identify and values as they engage with the world. I especially enjoy working with mothers and fathers who are trying to figure out their own identities as parents. And I work to provide safe space for men and women in all transitory points in life where they feel unsure of themselves, and where it’s ok to be human.